At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
