I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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