Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
