a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
