What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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