I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
