On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
it's like heaven, but drunker
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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