GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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