I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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