How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
