South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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