david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
