NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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