I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i out mim tonsoeep
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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