Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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