Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
