It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
