Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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