i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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