i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
