Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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