i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Michael Bay diarrhea
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Randomize
