Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
