And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
