the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
