Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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