this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
