Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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