I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
