Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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