dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
