That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
