I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
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