So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
