i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
