haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
