I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
