found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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