ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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