after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
