Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
