Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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