I feel great
I just peed on a car
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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