i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
