My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
