How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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