mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
