D3 body, D1 cock
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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