next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
