Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
