maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
