you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
